For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. Job 3:25
My husband was in the military when we first married and during our first year at our assigned duty station; I had met several women who had difficulties in their pregnancies:
One woman delivered a still born child, another miscarried several times. Upon the news of expecting my own first child, I was filled with fear. Each day I wondered if the baby I was carrying was okay. The least little thing that didn't seem right...to me...I was alerted. But, all was well and I delivered a precious healthy little girl.Then came my next child...fear again gripped my heart. In this pregnancy, I did almost miscarry...but again...all went well after some rest and I delivered a sweet baby girl. Subsequently, I delivered then my first son and yet another sweet girl.
All healthy and full of life.
When I became pregnant with my 5th pregnancy, I was extremely ill. A friend joked with me about twins.
Me?...twins?...wouldn't that be something!
Upon the presentation of my ultrasound screen... the doctor asked me...
"What do you see there little lady?"
"...TWO!...oh, my..is that TWO?"
"Yes it is! you have two little babies in there!"
and so the phone was busy for quite a long time...telling everyone our exciting news. Boys?....Girls? they didn't tell us back then! what to expect and since my previous children were healthy, there was no reason to think these would not be as well. All my fears were gone.
Names? we always wanted to name one of our boys after our dear friend Charlie and my husband liked the name Stephen so those would be the boys. Girls? I think we just planned on boys (actually I had prayed for two boys)...I don't even recall the names we had chosen for girls though I am sure we had some in reserve.
My 5th pregnancy and Stephen becomes my 5th born.
This number 5 becomes noteworthy as time goes on.
My pregnancy went fine with some medications for occasional nausea. When the time came for moving to Switzerland, I was seven months along and the doctor gave the okay for traveling.
Adventure lie ahead...moving to Europe. An answer to our prayers to go there to share our faith.
I recall the verse in Hebrews on faith, written in the scrapbook made by our church family.
By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went.By faith he sojourned in the land of promise as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise:For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.
The chapter on the Hero's of Faith. People who took God at his Word, believed him and rested upon it.
Oh, if I could just do that.
ARRIVAL FOR THE MEETING
Madame S. met us in the lobby of the hospital and escorted us to the office of the Cardiologist who examined our son; she requested to stay with us for the meeting. The doctor was a very kind and gentle man, tall and of commanding stature. His countenance spoke well of his professionalism as well as his character as an individual.
He spoke humbly, as he described the condition of Stephen's heart as well as his overall well being. Stephen is not well. He lacks the abilities of most children, even Down's children in his functions to thrive and grow.
He told us that he stopped playing GOD, many years past. He had situations where the parents begged him to keep their child alive and he tried; only to find out in the event of death, the blame that he would have to bare for their accusations of his failures. He would not live this ever again.
He very kindly explained Stephen's condition by drawing us diagrams and explaining why this was inoperable and that he probably would not live to his first birthday.
Such sorrowful news for a doctor to deliver to parents. He knew we had other children we loved dearly and you could see that his heart was broken telling us about Stephen. As we listened, my husband and I held hands. It is amazing, the peace...the peace that passeth all understanding...that can come at the moment of great need. We both looked at each other and knew...we knew...this was of the LORD. It was all a part of his work in us and through us. We began, both of us, to share our faith in the LORD with this doctor. The relief upon his face cannot be measured by words. He thanked us.
I knew in my heart all along the inevitable...I had prepared my own heart and spirit to receive these words...often I'd ask myself...
"Will I be able to raise a handicap child as he needs with four other children to take care of?... Will I be able to face the death of one of my children?..Oh, LORD...What is in store for me?"
Madame S. walked with us down to the lobby where she asked to speak with us privately. She then began to talk about preparations for the future. Did we know what to expect? Do we have any questions? She will check into our insurance for us.
We then, once again...spoke of God's grace and his help in time of need. We spoke of God's will in the lives of those who know him personally as their Saviour. We spoke of our family and how blessed we were with the children he had given us and that Stephen was a special part of God's creation and plan. We except his plan and know that God does all things well. Madame S. with tears in her eyes...told us we had consoled her and yet she was suppose to console us! The nurses needed to hear what she heard. She later told us as she had relayed to the staff our words to her, how greatly they appreciated our courage and out look of hope. It helped them.
A word of comfort, yet our hearts were heavy. Tears welled up with in our eyes as we thought upon not only ourselves, but others who had grown to love Stephen as well, and our dear family and friends back home who would be too far away to share in these moments with us. We knew, heartbreak would reach them also.
And, yet our GOD is able...he is able to give that which man cannot...
PEACE...AT SUCH A TIME
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
And whether we be afflicted it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. II Corinthians 1:3-7