I will cry unto God most high: unto God that performeth all things for me.
Psalm 57:2
Not only were we expecting the social worker..but our dear friends Anne-Marie and Jack were coming for dinner. I wanted them to come and quickly. We needed help with our decision concerning Stephen. His continued distress troubled me and I felt my own weakness' causing guilt.
"Is it my weakness, LORD, or does Stephen need the care of the nurses?...am I failing my son!"
Later that afternoon while Anne-Marie and I visited, the social worker Madame H. also came to visit. I was so thankful to have both of them with me...ladies I could confide in and trust their judgment of my dilemma.
At this time also...my neighbor who didn't speak English stopped by for tea! I didn't know how to tell her that I was busy and so gestured for her to come in. It just so happened that the visitors I already had were fluent in French.
"Thank you, Lord!"
While we discussed Stephen's condition as I was feeding him....once again with great force his feeding spewed out. They quickly helped me...and we soon had Stephen calm and resting. One helped clean-up, one cradled Stephen while I prepared his clean clothing and another spoke gently to the other children.
I was heartbroken.
Always surrounded by nurses...I just wanted to be...his mommy. The past few days I held him close, I rocked him, I sang to him. I did all the things I wanted as a mother with my child in the privacy of my own little world.
"Why? is this happening? Is it something I am doing wrong?"
These ladies consoled and gave me such comfort with their caring hearts and wisdom. They too agreed, Stephen did not look well and to check with the doctor the next day.
I was so thankful for that perfect timing once again. Not just one lady to help me, but three: a dear Christian friend who prayerfully in her heart could seek God in giving me an answer, a social worker who could access the situation in the family needs of each individual and then a common neighbor who's compassion showed in her deep concern.
The fellowship of dear Christian friends brought us true joy at such a needed time. The rest of the evening brought peace with enjoyment of their company and time with our children.
That evening, late... well after another feeding; Stephen became very distressed and crying. I couldn't get him quiet and I was too afraid to pick him up for fear he would vomit again. His color was not good and scared us. We called Claudine (mid-night) and she came over to watch the children for us while we transported Stephen to the hospital. I'll never forget the look on her face. I know her heart felt our fear.
As I sat in the back of our van cradling Stephen in my arms, crying and praying. My dear husband spoke words of comfort, reminding me of God's grace and care shown to us. He reassured me that I did the best I could and that Stephen knew this too.
I remembered the "Angels Chorus Sang".
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9
As we entered the hospital, I immediately felt relief. I knew he was in the best of care. The nurses hugged me and they also reassured me that it was alright. Stephen needed to be there; he did not look well.
The ride home was a very sad time for us. My arms were empty of my son once again.
The next morning the first social worker I spoke with Madame S. (whom I had the wonderful opportunity of a witness) called to tell us, the Cardiologist wants to observe Stephen for a few days back at the other hospital. She will visit with me soon.
"Lord, is this another open door? it must be... Oh LORD, let us be yielded to thy will and our prayers heard as we seek to show your love to others"
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God: and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
In this was manifested the love of God towared us, because that God sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
I John 4:7-11
Showing posts with label hospital care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospital care. Show all posts
Monday, February 25, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
BE OF GOOD COURAGE...part 3
(I am alone and my husband is gone on a business trip for a week)
Today is the fourth session of inserting the feeding tube.
Fear gripped my heart when Stephen began to choke; I had so feared the tube going the wrong way and into his lungs. But, this lasted just a moment and he was fine. After we settled down from his feeding...I sat in the chair beside his crib stroking his forehead as he calmly went to sleep.
"How long he is going to live, LORD? Will I be able to handle his needs along with those of the other children? I must trust you, LORD. I must keep your word in my heart continually, knowing you are with me."
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm chpt. 19 verse 14
Kathryn stopped by to tell me the Pediatrician said that we can take Stephen home whenever we feel comfortable taking care of him.
I am so happy....yet so fearful.
TWO DAYS LATER...My grandpa died today and my heart grieves not being able to be with my family. Growing up without my father; grandpa was an important part of my life. I can see all our memories passing before my eyes and touching my heart.
It hurts so much!
I've never had anyone close to me die! It especially sorrows my heart not knowing if he had ever trusted Christ as his Saviour. So often I had tried to tell him about the LORD's saving grace and merciful kindness. A kind, but tough man...he didn't need GOD.
Tears flood my soul at the anquishing thoughts of a dying lost man. How I hope he trusted Christ as the dying thief. Repenting moments from death...to hear the blessed Son of God say:
"...To day shalt thou be with me in paradise." St. Luke chpt. 23 verse 43
verse 39-43 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him saying, If thou be the Christ, save thyself and us.
But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?
And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds:
but this man hath done nothing amiss.
And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day....
And I spoke with my mother:
"Please mom, read in the Bible I John chapter 5. All my strength comes from the LORD and even alone at this time...he will help me. I'll be okay."
Sorrowful, yet rejoicing...because I myself have the LORD. How thankful to know Him, His word and His comfort. Today, is another day of spiritual growth in the LORD. Understanding life and death, it's reality...and the great hope of Eternal Life found in the LORD JESUS CHRIST.
Today is the fourth session of inserting the feeding tube.
Fear gripped my heart when Stephen began to choke; I had so feared the tube going the wrong way and into his lungs. But, this lasted just a moment and he was fine. After we settled down from his feeding...I sat in the chair beside his crib stroking his forehead as he calmly went to sleep.
"How long he is going to live, LORD? Will I be able to handle his needs along with those of the other children? I must trust you, LORD. I must keep your word in my heart continually, knowing you are with me."
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm chpt. 19 verse 14
Kathryn stopped by to tell me the Pediatrician said that we can take Stephen home whenever we feel comfortable taking care of him.
I am so happy....yet so fearful.
TWO DAYS LATER...My grandpa died today and my heart grieves not being able to be with my family. Growing up without my father; grandpa was an important part of my life. I can see all our memories passing before my eyes and touching my heart.
It hurts so much!
I've never had anyone close to me die! It especially sorrows my heart not knowing if he had ever trusted Christ as his Saviour. So often I had tried to tell him about the LORD's saving grace and merciful kindness. A kind, but tough man...he didn't need GOD.
Tears flood my soul at the anquishing thoughts of a dying lost man. How I hope he trusted Christ as the dying thief. Repenting moments from death...to hear the blessed Son of God say:
"...To day shalt thou be with me in paradise." St. Luke chpt. 23 verse 43
verse 39-43 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him saying, If thou be the Christ, save thyself and us.
But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?
And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds:
but this man hath done nothing amiss.
And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day....
And I spoke with my mother:
"Please mom, read in the Bible I John chapter 5. All my strength comes from the LORD and even alone at this time...he will help me. I'll be okay."
Sorrowful, yet rejoicing...because I myself have the LORD. How thankful to know Him, His word and His comfort. Today, is another day of spiritual growth in the LORD. Understanding life and death, it's reality...and the great hope of Eternal Life found in the LORD JESUS CHRIST.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
BE OF GOOD COURAGE...part 2
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. AMEN. Ephesians Chpt. 3 verse 20-21
Another day...another weakness in my flesh...but strength in the Spirit.
As the above verse states. HE is able to do above all that we ask or think. And so, my prayer to God continued: asking him to help me in my weakness; those times, when my heart ached, my stomach was in knots and fears compassed me.
How I thanked God for sending Kathryn to befriend me... A NURSE...oh of all people!
The very person who's words encouraged me.
"Oh,(Hope) you can do it again... You did much better than some students I've watched...GOD did indeed help you didn't he!"
The nurses warned me before I proceeded for the second time: that the tube can be inserted incorrectly and enter his lung, causing him breathing problems and his coloring turn black. (this had happened already with the nurses). It overwhelmed me hearing this. I couldn't let the nurses know that my heart at that moment: literally ached. They had to tell me. They had to inform me of every little thing that could and would go wrong.
"I must do it again...poor little guy...he needs to be home."
The nurse brought in a stroller so I could take Stephen for a walk around the hospital grounds. It would be our first time...all alone.
One of the nurses walked with me to the elevator and then to the front entrance. I thanked her and then...Stephen and I...together... took our walk in the sunshine of a beautiful fall day.
As I walked... I spoke with Stephen telling him how much we loved him, about his brothers and sisters and what it would be like to be home. I also spoke with the LORD. Thanking him for all he had already done for me. The comfort his word brings to my heart. I thanked him for giving us his word so that we can have assurance and know him.
I began to recall in my thoughts the years prior and how GOD had strengthened me then and shown his will.
In 1979 my first son was born with jaundice and I remember how helpless I felt. I didn't know at the time, how common this condition is: especially in boys. Because he was allowed to go home and released from the newborn nursery; when his test result numbers were to high, he had to be readmitted to a regular hospital room. I had to stay with him and watch him while he was under a special lighted isolet. Oh, the trauma for me then; seeing my new baby having to have special care.. his eyes had to be covered with little patches and the nurses would come in to prick his tiny feet. I cried. But, he would be fine and go home in a couple of days.
Then this same son at six months old developed a virus with a vey high fever and was admitted to the hospital. The doctor had him put into a crib with an oxygen tent and said that we would first try antibiotics and if his fever did not go down, he'd do a spinal tap. I tried to calm my son the best I could and soon he fell asleep. The nurses checked on him often and since I was to be there overnight in his room; I made myself comfortable in a recliner provided and began to read my Bible.
After being settled in...I overheard a doctor talking to the patient on the other side of the separating curtain. An elderly lady who was being told how to give herself injections for diabetes. I could hear the fear in her voice as she asked him questions. The doctor sounded very clinical. I felt so sorry for her. When the doctor left, I peeked around and asked if I could speak with her. She smiled and obliged, so I took my Bible and began to encourage her in the LORD and read some scriptures. I then left my Bible with her for the night. The next morning her son came in and after visiting with his mother, asked to speak with me... he said:
"I want to thank you for talking with my Mother last night. You helped her so much! She has been up all night reading the Bible and found so much comfort that now, she says she has the courage to do the injections by herself. Thank you so much!"
She was being released to go home and before leaving thanked me and returned my Bible. Just a short while later, my doctor came in for his routine stop and informed me that my son's fever was gone: the meds worked and he could go home today!
PRAISE THE LORD!!
THAT is why I was here....for that sweet little lady! What comfort came to my heart, knowing it was all part of GOD's plan.
Now the God of all peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. AMEN. Hebrews Chpt.13 verses 20-21
As I recalled this...I could now plainly see, how GOD so graciously had prepared me for the present. A little strengthening here and there: the purpose shown and a blessing in the end.
Stephen and I had walked the perimeter of the hospital and now back to the entrance, I took him upstairs and prepared myself for the next lesson. I bathed him and inserted the tube as the nurses watched over...
and all was well...once again.
Another day...another weakness in my flesh...but strength in the Spirit.
As the above verse states. HE is able to do above all that we ask or think. And so, my prayer to God continued: asking him to help me in my weakness; those times, when my heart ached, my stomach was in knots and fears compassed me.
How I thanked God for sending Kathryn to befriend me... A NURSE...oh of all people!
The very person who's words encouraged me.
"Oh,(Hope) you can do it again... You did much better than some students I've watched...GOD did indeed help you didn't he!"
The nurses warned me before I proceeded for the second time: that the tube can be inserted incorrectly and enter his lung, causing him breathing problems and his coloring turn black. (this had happened already with the nurses). It overwhelmed me hearing this. I couldn't let the nurses know that my heart at that moment: literally ached. They had to tell me. They had to inform me of every little thing that could and would go wrong.
"I must do it again...poor little guy...he needs to be home."
The nurse brought in a stroller so I could take Stephen for a walk around the hospital grounds. It would be our first time...all alone.
One of the nurses walked with me to the elevator and then to the front entrance. I thanked her and then...Stephen and I...together... took our walk in the sunshine of a beautiful fall day.
As I walked... I spoke with Stephen telling him how much we loved him, about his brothers and sisters and what it would be like to be home. I also spoke with the LORD. Thanking him for all he had already done for me. The comfort his word brings to my heart. I thanked him for giving us his word so that we can have assurance and know him.
I began to recall in my thoughts the years prior and how GOD had strengthened me then and shown his will.
In 1979 my first son was born with jaundice and I remember how helpless I felt. I didn't know at the time, how common this condition is: especially in boys. Because he was allowed to go home and released from the newborn nursery; when his test result numbers were to high, he had to be readmitted to a regular hospital room. I had to stay with him and watch him while he was under a special lighted isolet. Oh, the trauma for me then; seeing my new baby having to have special care.. his eyes had to be covered with little patches and the nurses would come in to prick his tiny feet. I cried. But, he would be fine and go home in a couple of days.
Then this same son at six months old developed a virus with a vey high fever and was admitted to the hospital. The doctor had him put into a crib with an oxygen tent and said that we would first try antibiotics and if his fever did not go down, he'd do a spinal tap. I tried to calm my son the best I could and soon he fell asleep. The nurses checked on him often and since I was to be there overnight in his room; I made myself comfortable in a recliner provided and began to read my Bible.
After being settled in...I overheard a doctor talking to the patient on the other side of the separating curtain. An elderly lady who was being told how to give herself injections for diabetes. I could hear the fear in her voice as she asked him questions. The doctor sounded very clinical. I felt so sorry for her. When the doctor left, I peeked around and asked if I could speak with her. She smiled and obliged, so I took my Bible and began to encourage her in the LORD and read some scriptures. I then left my Bible with her for the night. The next morning her son came in and after visiting with his mother, asked to speak with me... he said:
"I want to thank you for talking with my Mother last night. You helped her so much! She has been up all night reading the Bible and found so much comfort that now, she says she has the courage to do the injections by herself. Thank you so much!"
She was being released to go home and before leaving thanked me and returned my Bible. Just a short while later, my doctor came in for his routine stop and informed me that my son's fever was gone: the meds worked and he could go home today!
PRAISE THE LORD!!
THAT is why I was here....for that sweet little lady! What comfort came to my heart, knowing it was all part of GOD's plan.
Now the God of all peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. AMEN. Hebrews Chpt.13 verses 20-21
As I recalled this...I could now plainly see, how GOD so graciously had prepared me for the present. A little strengthening here and there: the purpose shown and a blessing in the end.
Stephen and I had walked the perimeter of the hospital and now back to the entrance, I took him upstairs and prepared myself for the next lesson. I bathed him and inserted the tube as the nurses watched over...
and all was well...once again.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
AS AN ANGELS CHORUS SANG
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
Oh how I prayed for strength to accomplish this task for Stephen. I had the courage..but how to perform it, that would take strength. Fears encompassed my heart.
EXCERPT from my journal:
The LORD ever so faithful, lifted my weary soul and strengthened me. I prayed for strength.
Today, I inserted the feeding tube. The nurses were amazed at my ablity. They had fears, that I being his mom.. would find it too difficult emotionally to perform.
Stephen was so calm; as if angels had hovered over us and sang a heavenly chorus. Never had he been so calm: normally he would have been squirming around and agitated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a very pleasant time and I was able to tell the nurses in my own sort of way...it was GOD who helped me. They were so happy for me that one by one they each gave me a hug of congratulations.
I imagined later the songs sung...
There is a place of comfort sweet, Near to the heart of God, A place where we our Savior meet, Near to the heart of God.
O Jesus blest redeemer, Sent from the heart of God, Hold us who wait before thee, Near to the heart of God.
and perhaps this one:
All creatures of our God and King, Lift up your voice and with us sing..
Alleluia, Alleluia..O praise him, O praise him...Alleluia
In a letter to a friend back home..I wrote these words:
I see Stephen as the LORD's vessel of honor right before my eyes, watching GOD using him for our witness. What joy it brings my heart!
In my own thoughts:
Has not God proven in the years that I have been saved: his loving kindness, his provisions, and his grace. Truly, each day the truth is more evident. How glad I am to be a partaker of his divine grace.
Oh how I pray that one day, I might lead a soul to the Saviour. That they might know the joy of his salvation, the free pardon of sin and peace that passeth all understanding."
Oh how I prayed for strength to accomplish this task for Stephen. I had the courage..but how to perform it, that would take strength. Fears encompassed my heart.
EXCERPT from my journal:
The LORD ever so faithful, lifted my weary soul and strengthened me. I prayed for strength.
Today, I inserted the feeding tube. The nurses were amazed at my ablity. They had fears, that I being his mom.. would find it too difficult emotionally to perform.
Stephen was so calm; as if angels had hovered over us and sang a heavenly chorus. Never had he been so calm: normally he would have been squirming around and agitated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a very pleasant time and I was able to tell the nurses in my own sort of way...it was GOD who helped me. They were so happy for me that one by one they each gave me a hug of congratulations.
I imagined later the songs sung...
There is a place of comfort sweet, Near to the heart of God, A place where we our Savior meet, Near to the heart of God.
O Jesus blest redeemer, Sent from the heart of God, Hold us who wait before thee, Near to the heart of God.
and perhaps this one:
All creatures of our God and King, Lift up your voice and with us sing..
Alleluia, Alleluia..O praise him, O praise him...Alleluia
In a letter to a friend back home..I wrote these words:
I see Stephen as the LORD's vessel of honor right before my eyes, watching GOD using him for our witness. What joy it brings my heart!
In my own thoughts:
Has not God proven in the years that I have been saved: his loving kindness, his provisions, and his grace. Truly, each day the truth is more evident. How glad I am to be a partaker of his divine grace.
Oh how I pray that one day, I might lead a soul to the Saviour. That they might know the joy of his salvation, the free pardon of sin and peace that passeth all understanding."
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
BE OF GOOD COURAGE...part 1
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24
The doctors decided now that Stephen was five months old and required minimal care, it was time to try and send him home. The small hospital had limited space as well.
One of the doctor's asked to speak with me and suggested I learn the tube feeding so that Stephen could go home and be with us as a family. The nurses had tried unsuccessfully feeding him solid foods. His swallowing was impaired and so the tube feedings would have to continue to be his means of nourishment for the time being.
NOTE: the doctors and nurses did not expect Stephen to live this long.
My thoughts once again raced and my heart as much...
"me?...I'm not a nurse!....and what if I can't!...OH! LORD!...I have to so I can bring Stephen HOME."
With the encouragement of the staff; I'd come a couple days a week to learn the procedures. Feeding and bathing.
The first few weeks I observed the daily routine. I watched the gentle care and precise details of every move they made.
At this same time...We received a much needed and timely letter from our Pastor back home. Encouraging words...
"The LORD has given you much to do, that he may reward you in the future. So many fail with little responsibility. Praise the LORD for those who remain strong and receive the grace God desires to bestow upon us who will let him."
My husband was my greatest supporter. He knew that it was something only I could do; something I needed to do ...as Stephen's mother. He helped me as much as he could even with the weighted responsibilities on his job. He often had to make trips away from home. I know these were stressful times, leaving us alone. But, we both understood our callings in our service to God as a family.
Mine...the wonderful "ministry" of MOTHERHOOD. A noble and honorable calling. Oh how,I love my children, they have never been a "burden" to me. I noted in my journal...
"My husband and I share a special love for our children and the joy of both of us being Christians with the same desires...to nurture them in the admonition of the LORD GOD. They truly must be the sweetest children on earth."
Little Charlie..Stephen's twin brother (not indentical)...was a chubby healthy baby with deep set brown eyes and a sweet smile. Everyone that came to visit held him and gave extra love knowing the absence of his twin. Claudine loved to babysit him when she was able.
Now...we needed to prepare for Stephen to join him in the same room. We were already blessed with the needed "twin" clothing and only had to purchase another crib.
Is it possible?...that finally...we will have TWINS! at home with us.
A crash course in Nursing 101... Clinical was about to begin....
The doctors decided now that Stephen was five months old and required minimal care, it was time to try and send him home. The small hospital had limited space as well.
One of the doctor's asked to speak with me and suggested I learn the tube feeding so that Stephen could go home and be with us as a family. The nurses had tried unsuccessfully feeding him solid foods. His swallowing was impaired and so the tube feedings would have to continue to be his means of nourishment for the time being.
NOTE: the doctors and nurses did not expect Stephen to live this long.
My thoughts once again raced and my heart as much...
"me?...I'm not a nurse!....and what if I can't!...OH! LORD!...I have to so I can bring Stephen HOME."
With the encouragement of the staff; I'd come a couple days a week to learn the procedures. Feeding and bathing.
The first few weeks I observed the daily routine. I watched the gentle care and precise details of every move they made.
At this same time...We received a much needed and timely letter from our Pastor back home. Encouraging words...
"The LORD has given you much to do, that he may reward you in the future. So many fail with little responsibility. Praise the LORD for those who remain strong and receive the grace God desires to bestow upon us who will let him."
My husband was my greatest supporter. He knew that it was something only I could do; something I needed to do ...as Stephen's mother. He helped me as much as he could even with the weighted responsibilities on his job. He often had to make trips away from home. I know these were stressful times, leaving us alone. But, we both understood our callings in our service to God as a family.
Mine...the wonderful "ministry" of MOTHERHOOD. A noble and honorable calling. Oh how,I love my children, they have never been a "burden" to me. I noted in my journal...
"My husband and I share a special love for our children and the joy of both of us being Christians with the same desires...to nurture them in the admonition of the LORD GOD. They truly must be the sweetest children on earth."
Little Charlie..Stephen's twin brother (not indentical)...was a chubby healthy baby with deep set brown eyes and a sweet smile. Everyone that came to visit held him and gave extra love knowing the absence of his twin. Claudine loved to babysit him when she was able.
Now...we needed to prepare for Stephen to join him in the same room. We were already blessed with the needed "twin" clothing and only had to purchase another crib.
Is it possible?...that finally...we will have TWINS! at home with us.
A crash course in Nursing 101... Clinical was about to begin....
Monday, February 4, 2008
...AND FAMILY.
The days were passing well for Stephen. He was sustaining his own with minimal oxygen. Much to the surprise of the doctors and nurses. He'd watch his mobile with plastic farm animals dangling in a circular motion to music, cooing with contentment. (to this day... I still have the music box of the mobile and have played it for all my grandchildren).
I even found time to sew him a little denim teddy bear. My own pattern, with a red bow tied around his neck. The nurses were touched by my little "homemade" gift. It made me feel good for them to see that I did take the "time" for him even though my visits weren't as often as we wanted or maybe as they expected!The nurses assured me that he loved his little bear and mobile.
Happy days brought sunshine to the days that had been shadowed with sadness. Stephen's contentment and our Christian fellowship in the new church we attended, and the news of a planned visit from our mothers.
We were so anxious for their arrival...cleaning and making things special for their visit. The children colored banners of "Welcome" to put up on the garage door for viewing as they entered our roadway.
Upon their arrival there were hugs and tears of joy. A full two weeks of FAMILY!
My mother and I went to visit Stephen together and took photos of us each holding him. Knowing the distance from the hospital was a dilema for us, she was encouraged to help in a Ronald McDonald house upon her return home. I didn't know about these places in the U.S. that help parents/family with loved ones hospital bound. Living quarters close to the hospital, often right across the street, free of charge to families who must travel a good distance to be with their loved one.
We also rode the train one day to the city....another a car ride through the villages...and a walk to the local dairy many times for cheese and fresh milk. They loved getting to visit first hand the real life of a Swiss village and meet Claudine and her family.
The weekend before they left we took a wonderful journey to Zermat the village near the foot of "The Matterhorn". Zermat is known as the village without cars, with only access by shuttle-train. My husband and his mother took the ski lift to The Matterhorn, while my mother and I stayed with the children and enjoyed the shops and scenery and just being together. The fresh mountain air and beautiful flowers adorning everything in sight enveloped my thoughts with pure pleasure and thankfulness. It was truly a comforting moment.......of rest.
II Samuel 22.34 He maketh my feet like hinds feet: and setteth me upon my high places.
I even found time to sew him a little denim teddy bear. My own pattern, with a red bow tied around his neck. The nurses were touched by my little "homemade" gift. It made me feel good for them to see that I did take the "time" for him even though my visits weren't as often as we wanted or maybe as they expected!The nurses assured me that he loved his little bear and mobile.
Happy days brought sunshine to the days that had been shadowed with sadness. Stephen's contentment and our Christian fellowship in the new church we attended, and the news of a planned visit from our mothers.
We were so anxious for their arrival...cleaning and making things special for their visit. The children colored banners of "Welcome" to put up on the garage door for viewing as they entered our roadway.
Upon their arrival there were hugs and tears of joy. A full two weeks of FAMILY!
My mother and I went to visit Stephen together and took photos of us each holding him. Knowing the distance from the hospital was a dilema for us, she was encouraged to help in a Ronald McDonald house upon her return home. I didn't know about these places in the U.S. that help parents/family with loved ones hospital bound. Living quarters close to the hospital, often right across the street, free of charge to families who must travel a good distance to be with their loved one.
We also rode the train one day to the city....another a car ride through the villages...and a walk to the local dairy many times for cheese and fresh milk. They loved getting to visit first hand the real life of a Swiss village and meet Claudine and her family.
The weekend before they left we took a wonderful journey to Zermat the village near the foot of "The Matterhorn". Zermat is known as the village without cars, with only access by shuttle-train. My husband and his mother took the ski lift to The Matterhorn, while my mother and I stayed with the children and enjoyed the shops and scenery and just being together. The fresh mountain air and beautiful flowers adorning everything in sight enveloped my thoughts with pure pleasure and thankfulness. It was truly a comforting moment.......of rest.
II Samuel 22.34 He maketh my feet like hinds feet: and setteth me upon my high places.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
...CLOSER TO HOME...part 2
Since the nurses were not expecting Stephen to live long.Each visit I made was monitored by a nurses presence. I thought this was hospital procedure since he was in a children's unit.
I found it very difficult to be the nurturing mother I wanted to be... It's not easy to be yourself with a microscope over you. I let the nurses guide me on each visit. He was fed with a tube from his nose to his stomach and occasionally the nurse helped me feed him by putting milk into a large shot-syringe that fit the tubing. I was very careful to do it slowly so that he would not vomit the milk back up. Which did happen a few times...gripping my heart. It was necessary to do this feeding very patiently.
I tried my best to convey with the language barrier once again...my faith in the LORD and my desire to trust in him for each day of this journey. I could see the compassion in the eyes of the nurses and evident was the attachment they had for my son as well.
One nurse that came on duty was an English speaking, Canadian! I was so happy to be able to witness to her a little and let her convey to the other nurses my appreciation for their care. These few moments of speaking about the LORD, brought me much needed comfort. I was continually encouraged with these opportunities... and once again reminded of his purpose...to do a good work in us and through us.
My husband stopped by the hospital on his way home from work as often as possible, for a short visit. He was able to spend time alone with Stephen and softly stroke his forehead. He also, called upon the LORD during these visits...asking for needed strength...wisdom of words...and resting upon the promises found in God's Word.
Art work by:
my son..
calligraphy by Hope.
I found it very difficult to be the nurturing mother I wanted to be... It's not easy to be yourself with a microscope over you. I let the nurses guide me on each visit. He was fed with a tube from his nose to his stomach and occasionally the nurse helped me feed him by putting milk into a large shot-syringe that fit the tubing. I was very careful to do it slowly so that he would not vomit the milk back up. Which did happen a few times...gripping my heart. It was necessary to do this feeding very patiently.
I tried my best to convey with the language barrier once again...my faith in the LORD and my desire to trust in him for each day of this journey. I could see the compassion in the eyes of the nurses and evident was the attachment they had for my son as well.
One nurse that came on duty was an English speaking, Canadian! I was so happy to be able to witness to her a little and let her convey to the other nurses my appreciation for their care. These few moments of speaking about the LORD, brought me much needed comfort. I was continually encouraged with these opportunities... and once again reminded of his purpose...to do a good work in us and through us.
My husband stopped by the hospital on his way home from work as often as possible, for a short visit. He was able to spend time alone with Stephen and softly stroke his forehead. He also, called upon the LORD during these visits...asking for needed strength...wisdom of words...and resting upon the promises found in God's Word.
Art work by:
my son..
calligraphy by Hope.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
A "Hummel" in overalls...
cApril 28th
Today, we spoke with a Cardiologist concerning Stephen's heart condition. He said, that once surgery is performed it would require additional surgeries. He would like to try and slowly wean Stephen off the oxygen he is receiving and see if he can thrive on his own....with a heavy heart these words swirled around in my head...
Surgeries?...weaned off oxygen?...how will he do?"
My heart ached as I thought upon his course of life.
"Will he have quality playtime with his brothers and sisters?"
Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Weeks passed and Stephen seemed to do well with the minimal help of oxygen. He was holding his own!
On a visit a few weeks later, my husband and I were shocked at the sight of our son. He had changed dramatically; the lack of oxygen he still suffered was causing fluid retention. Yet he looked so precious to us...now a pudgy little boy. As I gazed upon his precious face, I envisioned a little "Hummel" figurine before my eyes. My grandmother had a collection of these German made figurines and I always admired them. Their round faces with rosy cheeks and sweet smiles. Here was one, in person.
The hospital provided clothing for Stephen. I don't know why, perhaps for sanitary reasons. I appreciated so much the "normal" clothing provided instead of a generic hospital gown. This day, Stephen was dressed in cute overalls.
Each visit my heart was warmed with his precious life. I spoke with the LORD in the quiet moments of my visits alone with Stephen and pondered my Bible readings.
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said to you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. St. John chpt. 14:26-27
Today, we spoke with a Cardiologist concerning Stephen's heart condition. He said, that once surgery is performed it would require additional surgeries. He would like to try and slowly wean Stephen off the oxygen he is receiving and see if he can thrive on his own....with a heavy heart these words swirled around in my head...
Surgeries?...weaned off oxygen?...how will he do?"
My heart ached as I thought upon his course of life.
"Will he have quality playtime with his brothers and sisters?"
Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Weeks passed and Stephen seemed to do well with the minimal help of oxygen. He was holding his own!
On a visit a few weeks later, my husband and I were shocked at the sight of our son. He had changed dramatically; the lack of oxygen he still suffered was causing fluid retention. Yet he looked so precious to us...now a pudgy little boy. As I gazed upon his precious face, I envisioned a little "Hummel" figurine before my eyes. My grandmother had a collection of these German made figurines and I always admired them. Their round faces with rosy cheeks and sweet smiles. Here was one, in person.
The hospital provided clothing for Stephen. I don't know why, perhaps for sanitary reasons. I appreciated so much the "normal" clothing provided instead of a generic hospital gown. This day, Stephen was dressed in cute overalls.
Each visit my heart was warmed with his precious life. I spoke with the LORD in the quiet moments of my visits alone with Stephen and pondered my Bible readings.
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said to you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. St. John chpt. 14:26-27
Monday, December 10, 2007
...the visits begin...Part 1
Finally arriving home from the hospital...the children happily greeted me with hugs and excitement of our friend's visit from the U.S. I was so pleased to see them happy. This brought so much warmth and comfort to my heart as I came home empty handed.
In readiness for the babies coming home we had purchased a small crib and a few baby items. I was pleasantly surprised when Claudine came by to welcome me home with a huge box of "twin-boy" clothing! How in the world did she find someone who no longer needed their TWIN BOY baby clothes? The LORD indeed knew. The box was filled with precious outfits and blankets...yes, once again everything I needed...at such a time!
"Thank you, Lord for your perfect care...perfect timing."
Philipians 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Our dear friend was more than happy to watch the children while my husband and I made our first journey to the University Hospital. It was such a comfort to know my children were enjoying her company and that we left them in trustworthy, loving care...from HOME. Having someone come all the way from the states to help us, was such a manifestation of love in a Christian's heart. Here was a lady not even related to me who dropped everything to be at my side to comfort and help.
So many thoughts and prayers came to my mind and heart in preparation for seeing the twins: only for the second time in two weeks. Knowing I was to bring only one of them home with me.
*(I had not mentioned in a previous post that the twin with Down's also had a heart defect)*
"How would I handle this?"
I could feel the tightness in my stomach...the heaviness in my heart. I thought upon the burden it must be to my husband...feeling so responsible...to watch his wife have to go through the last two weeks, the news and now this.
"I have to be strong for him too, Lord."
As we entered the hospital, though it was very nice; it seemed so huge, cold and indifferent to me. It was much larger than the community hospital I delivered the twins at. This hospital had several more floors. We took the elevator down to the Intensive Care Unit. As we entered the area of "caution",we were told to go wash before being allowed to be with our sons. I was to go in one room while my husband another. I didn't like being separated like this. I began to feel very alone and vulnerable to weakness. In this very large washroom we had to put on white gown covers,a mask and scrub our hands and arms in deep sinks. I realized now the seriousness of my child's condition.
Once again I dealt with the language barrier. A lady in the room spoke to me without my understanding. I smiled and said "Bon Jour Madame". I am sure with my lack of proper pronunciation and my American "accent" she understood my dilemma and sympathetic to why she and I were both there.
Upon finishing our task, my husband and I fit right in with all the others in white. Doctors, nurses, technicians and parents. We were kindly escorted around to view the area and see the work that is done in the Intensive Care Unit. It was absolutely amazing. Equipment everywhere, doing it's proper care for preemies, for babies with defects, babies like mine. There were photos of before and after babies and one precious tiny preemie wore mittens someone had knitted that couldn't have been even two inches in size. My heart ached as I saw these many babes with tubes and machines connected to their private little "home" called an isolet.
We were taken over to see our boys. Their names, Charlie and Stephen. Each in his own isolet. Charlie was a bit chunky for a little guy. He weighed about 5.5 pds. Nice big alert brown eyes. We brought clothing for him which the nurse took to change him. It was good to see he was healthy. He never did have a heart murmur as I was told at birth. I think this was said since they had to wait on a doctor to confirm Stephen's condition and to keep them from me for the time being. I don't fault them. It was their way of protecting me without my husband nearby.
As we approached Stephen's isolet, I saw a smaller sweet figure with a tube in his nose for oxygen. Our first touch was through two holes in the glass. We reached in to hold his tiny hand. His size was not all that small...about 4 to 4.5 pds. but he still looked frail with his pale color and closed eyes. My husband and I took turns holding him for a few moments. While holding him, we also had to hold a cone connected to the oxygen so that enough could flow to his face. He was peaceful in our arms.
My husband and I would glance at each other acknowledging how unrealistic it all seemed. We still with eyes of hope and assurance knew we would be alright.
The nurses were wonderful and assuring that they were there to help during our future visits. It was comforting to be able to communicate well with them...in English.
Future visits...for how long? We did not know.
I Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it.
In readiness for the babies coming home we had purchased a small crib and a few baby items. I was pleasantly surprised when Claudine came by to welcome me home with a huge box of "twin-boy" clothing! How in the world did she find someone who no longer needed their TWIN BOY baby clothes? The LORD indeed knew. The box was filled with precious outfits and blankets...yes, once again everything I needed...at such a time!
"Thank you, Lord for your perfect care...perfect timing."
Philipians 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Our dear friend was more than happy to watch the children while my husband and I made our first journey to the University Hospital. It was such a comfort to know my children were enjoying her company and that we left them in trustworthy, loving care...from HOME. Having someone come all the way from the states to help us, was such a manifestation of love in a Christian's heart. Here was a lady not even related to me who dropped everything to be at my side to comfort and help.
So many thoughts and prayers came to my mind and heart in preparation for seeing the twins: only for the second time in two weeks. Knowing I was to bring only one of them home with me.
*(I had not mentioned in a previous post that the twin with Down's also had a heart defect)*
"How would I handle this?"
I could feel the tightness in my stomach...the heaviness in my heart. I thought upon the burden it must be to my husband...feeling so responsible...to watch his wife have to go through the last two weeks, the news and now this.
"I have to be strong for him too, Lord."
As we entered the hospital, though it was very nice; it seemed so huge, cold and indifferent to me. It was much larger than the community hospital I delivered the twins at. This hospital had several more floors. We took the elevator down to the Intensive Care Unit. As we entered the area of "caution",we were told to go wash before being allowed to be with our sons. I was to go in one room while my husband another. I didn't like being separated like this. I began to feel very alone and vulnerable to weakness. In this very large washroom we had to put on white gown covers,a mask and scrub our hands and arms in deep sinks. I realized now the seriousness of my child's condition.
Once again I dealt with the language barrier. A lady in the room spoke to me without my understanding. I smiled and said "Bon Jour Madame". I am sure with my lack of proper pronunciation and my American "accent" she understood my dilemma and sympathetic to why she and I were both there.
Upon finishing our task, my husband and I fit right in with all the others in white. Doctors, nurses, technicians and parents. We were kindly escorted around to view the area and see the work that is done in the Intensive Care Unit. It was absolutely amazing. Equipment everywhere, doing it's proper care for preemies, for babies with defects, babies like mine. There were photos of before and after babies and one precious tiny preemie wore mittens someone had knitted that couldn't have been even two inches in size. My heart ached as I saw these many babes with tubes and machines connected to their private little "home" called an isolet.
We were taken over to see our boys. Their names, Charlie and Stephen. Each in his own isolet. Charlie was a bit chunky for a little guy. He weighed about 5.5 pds. Nice big alert brown eyes. We brought clothing for him which the nurse took to change him. It was good to see he was healthy. He never did have a heart murmur as I was told at birth. I think this was said since they had to wait on a doctor to confirm Stephen's condition and to keep them from me for the time being. I don't fault them. It was their way of protecting me without my husband nearby.
As we approached Stephen's isolet, I saw a smaller sweet figure with a tube in his nose for oxygen. Our first touch was through two holes in the glass. We reached in to hold his tiny hand. His size was not all that small...about 4 to 4.5 pds. but he still looked frail with his pale color and closed eyes. My husband and I took turns holding him for a few moments. While holding him, we also had to hold a cone connected to the oxygen so that enough could flow to his face. He was peaceful in our arms.
My husband and I would glance at each other acknowledging how unrealistic it all seemed. We still with eyes of hope and assurance knew we would be alright.The nurses were wonderful and assuring that they were there to help during our future visits. It was comforting to be able to communicate well with them...in English.
Future visits...for how long? We did not know.
I Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it.
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