Monday, December 10, 2007

...the visits begin...Part 1

Finally arriving home from the hospital...the children happily greeted me with hugs and excitement of our friend's visit from the U.S. I was so pleased to see them happy. This brought so much warmth and comfort to my heart as I came home empty handed.

In readiness for the babies coming home we had purchased a small crib and a few baby items. I was pleasantly surprised when Claudine came by to welcome me home with a huge box of "twin-boy" clothing! How in the world did she find someone who no longer needed their TWIN BOY baby clothes? The LORD indeed knew. The box was filled with precious outfits and blankets...yes, once again everything I such a time!

"Thank you, Lord for your perfect care...perfect timing."
Philipians 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Our dear friend was more than happy to watch the children while my husband and I made our first journey to the University Hospital. It was such a comfort to know my children were enjoying her company and that we left them in trustworthy, loving care...from HOME. Having someone come all the way from the states to help us, was such a manifestation of love in a Christian's heart. Here was a lady not even related to me who dropped everything to be at my side to comfort and help.

So many thoughts and prayers came to my mind and heart in preparation for seeing the twins: only for the second time in two weeks. Knowing I was to bring only one of them home with me.
*(I had not mentioned in a previous post that the twin with Down's also had a heart defect)*

"How would I handle this?"

I could feel the tightness in my stomach...the heaviness in my heart. I thought upon the burden it must be to my husband...feeling so watch his wife have to go through the last two weeks, the news and now this.

"I have to be strong for him too, Lord."

As we entered the hospital, though it was very nice; it seemed so huge, cold and indifferent to me. It was much larger than the community hospital I delivered the twins at. This hospital had several more floors. We took the elevator down to the Intensive Care Unit. As we entered the area of "caution",we were told to go wash before being allowed to be with our sons. I was to go in one room while my husband another. I didn't like being separated like this. I began to feel very alone and vulnerable to weakness. In this very large washroom we had to put on white gown covers,a mask and scrub our hands and arms in deep sinks. I realized now the seriousness of my child's condition.

Once again I dealt with the language barrier. A lady in the room spoke to me without my understanding. I smiled and said "Bon Jour Madame". I am sure with my lack of proper pronunciation and my American "accent" she understood my dilemma and sympathetic to why she and I were both there.

Upon finishing our task, my husband and I fit right in with all the others in white. Doctors, nurses, technicians and parents. We were kindly escorted around to view the area and see the work that is done in the Intensive Care Unit. It was absolutely amazing. Equipment everywhere, doing it's proper care for preemies, for babies with defects, babies like mine. There were photos of before and after babies and one precious tiny preemie wore mittens someone had knitted that couldn't have been even two inches in size. My heart ached as I saw these many babes with tubes and machines connected to their private little "home" called an isolet.
We were taken over to see our boys. Their names, Charlie and Stephen. Each in his own isolet. Charlie was a bit chunky for a little guy. He weighed about 5.5 pds. Nice big alert brown eyes. We brought clothing for him which the nurse took to change him. It was good to see he was healthy. He never did have a heart murmur as I was told at birth. I think this was said since they had to wait on a doctor to confirm Stephen's condition and to keep them from me for the time being. I don't fault them. It was their way of protecting me without my husband nearby.

As we approached Stephen's isolet, I saw a smaller sweet figure with a tube in his nose for oxygen. Our first touch was through two holes in the glass. We reached in to hold his tiny hand. His size was not all that small...about 4 to 4.5 pds. but he still looked frail with his pale color and closed eyes. My husband and I took turns holding him for a few moments. While holding him, we also had to hold a cone connected to the oxygen so that enough could flow to his face. He was peaceful in our arms. My husband and I would glance at each other acknowledging how unrealistic it all seemed. We still with eyes of hope and assurance knew we would be alright.

The nurses were wonderful and assuring that they were there to help during our future visits. It was comforting to be able to communicate well with English.

Future visits...for how long? We did not know.

I Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it.


Pam--in Jerusalem said...

This post has brought me to the verge of tears.....just thinking about what you must have been feeling. I SO appreciate the effort it must take for you to tell this story. Praise God that He has allowed you to see these events through his eyes.
I can't wait to read more!

HOPE said...

The thought of "others" being brought to tears is so touching, Pam. To know that the compassionate heart God put in us is evident when someone elses trials or joys touch our own hearts.
This is a token of the great love God has for us! He created us.
If only others would be touched with this same heart of knowing Jesus Christ willingly went to the cross of Calvary for our sins. Oh my..I think of the thief on the cross who admitted he was worthy of his crime and death...but this MAN hath done nothing amiss.
My sufferings are not worthy to be is a light affliction in this life...for the glory yet to come in Heaven. If through trials others think upon our dear Saviour then a good work is done.
Thanks so much for your faithful visits.


This post was heartbreaking in a way, It brought back a memory that I had with my second child, left in a hugh hospital with tubes and so tiny so very tiny and needing much. Thankfully in my case my son did very good and I was able to take him home soon. I don't know your story but I realize that I was so blessed and I pray that what ever God chose for you and your small son that He gave you the strength to bear it and now that I am thinking I know that He did because you are here telling us your story so that we can see the might hand of God. Bless you, dear Hope and your twins also.connie from Texas

HOPE said...

Yes, Connie...this is to tell and show the mighty hand of GOD in his plan for our lives and when yielded (giving way) even though out of our control... God knows the heart. God knew our hearts desire was to trust even in weakness..and he does indeed give us strength. My story at times is very sad..and though is not my intention to make anyone sad, you will be... but see and know that in fiery trials GOD is with you. I have wanted to write this for years and desired to publish a book..however here is my story of HOPE and yes, I am here to tell you...GOD is our strength and help in time of need.
Thanks so much for you continued visits and leaving comments of blessing to help me continue on with my story.
God Bless you Connie..and I am so HAPPY that all went well for you and your son!

Heather said...

Totally about to spill over with tears after reading this. Love the precious pic. God is so good.

HOPE said...

Oh dear Heather..hang in there! Thank you for coming back..and continuing on with my much HOPE is found here and so much rejoicing.

They that sew in tears shall reap in joy! Psalm 126:5

You will see in the end...the number 5 very very significant in God's work in our lives.

God bless you!