Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
Oh how I prayed for strength to accomplish this task for Stephen. I had the courage..but how to perform it, that would take strength. Fears encompassed my heart.
EXCERPT from my journal:
The LORD ever so faithful, lifted my weary soul and strengthened me. I prayed for strength.
Today, I inserted the feeding tube. The nurses were amazed at my ablity. They had fears, that I being his mom.. would find it too difficult emotionally to perform.
Stephen was so calm; as if angels had hovered over us and sang a heavenly chorus. Never had he been so calm: normally he would have been squirming around and agitated.
It was a very pleasant time and I was able to tell the nurses in my own sort of way...it was GOD who helped me. They were so happy for me that one by one they each gave me a hug of congratulations.
I imagined later the songs sung...
There is a place of comfort sweet, Near to the heart of God, A place where we our Savior meet, Near to the heart of God.
O Jesus blest redeemer, Sent from the heart of God, Hold us who wait before thee, Near to the heart of God.
and perhaps this one:
All creatures of our God and King, Lift up your voice and with us sing..
Alleluia, Alleluia..O praise him, O praise him...Alleluia
In a letter to a friend back home..I wrote these words:
I see Stephen as the LORD's vessel of honor right before my eyes, watching GOD using him for our witness. What joy it brings my heart!
In my own thoughts:
Has not God proven in the years that I have been saved: his loving kindness, his provisions, and his grace. Truly, each day the truth is more evident. How glad I am to be a partaker of his divine grace.
Oh how I pray that one day, I might lead a soul to the Saviour. That they might know the joy of his salvation, the free pardon of sin and peace that passeth all understanding."