For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
It is the day we are told to pick up Stephen’s ashes. We must go to a nearby town…a good distance. The eldest children will be in school, but we have to take the other three…one of whom is baby Charlie.
We had no idea what to expect…certainly not what did.
As we arrived; I stayed in our van with the children. Charlie was sleeping soundly from the ride in his baby carrier and the other children ages 4 and 2 sat sweetly reading books.
That morning unfortunately I was told the time that the cremation was to be done. I did not want this information and as the time approached; I stood at the window looking at that glorious white mountain…......Mount Blanc.
My heart was heavy and tears once again filled my eyes. I held Stephen’s little teddy bear I had made him and cried.
Those tears, I know are stored in a bottle… a bottle of remembrance in God’s love of keeping them. Perhaps one day he will empty them in front of Stephen and our family together with Kathryn and how many others might have been part of those tears…that sown in sorrow…will reap JOY everlasting.
The mountain of GOD…. That glorious mountain created by Him.
A continual reminder to me of his majesty.
My husband came to the van and as he opened the door…I saw his face…sullen and sad. There he stood, with a brown wrapped package…he handed it to me… and I froze in silence.
I could not believe it….I could not believe that people had let us come to this point… did they not consider?
Or did God allow this….why?.... to hurt our hearts? To punish us?
No…..God in his perfect design…wanted this for us, so that we could face reality.
This was indeed a test of FAITH….was our faith real?
You must ask yourself…
If this were to happen to you …would FAITH…
belief in the majestic GOD of creation, who has promised Eternal life to those who believe in him, trust him and know him as their Saviour…
COULD you…WOULD you…accept Reality?
As I clutched this package…with a tag reading my son’s name….
I had to grasp the depths of reality…Stephen was not there.
He was in the presence of my GOD!! He was healed…he was whole again and he was happy.
Would some dare say…you live in a dream world? They might …
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take on the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God… Ephesians 6:16-17a
My confidence is found in The precious Word Of God that had lead me to my Saviour…the Word Of God that gave me strength in time of need…the WORD that brought comfort to my soul in despair….and the promises of his Holy Spirits dwelling that confirms…it is TRUTH.
The WORD of GOD written for our learning…that we through comfort of the Scriptures…might have HOPE!
The children busied themselves with their books…as I held my son’s ashes.
We had to be strong for the children so young, they would not understand.
It was the comfort of GOD that enabled us to go on …at such a time…peace.
What were we to do now? My husband and I decided to stop at a hardware store and purchase an unfinished box with a lid and a clasp. Something similar to a jewelry box. We also purchased some wood to make a cross.
When we arrived home…my husband went down to our basement where there was a room he used as a workshop. There he spent the afternoon.
I was not there…I can only imagine the time alone he spent in thought and prayer.
Then… he called me down stairs….he finished the box with a beautiful wood stain and placed Stephen’s ashes inside and sealed the box.
He then built a cross and painted it white. I painted Stephen’s name across the top.
It was an emotional heart wrenching time for us, as we did this together…it was so very personal….and GOD was there….with us.
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed: for I am they God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
I can imagine the many missionaries on the field who have buried their own loved ones…suffered loss….and yet in all…looked to the glorious cross of the LORD Jesus and thanked him for that loved one who blessed their lives.
Yes, thankful… thankful for those promises God fulfilled in our lives.
We had prayer together and thanked God for his unspeakable grace, his merciful kindness in all that he had done for us and the witness that yet still remained for us in this village.
The funeral was to be in a couple of days.
I know that as you read this…it will be overwhelming.
Take this time dear reader…and ask yourself…
Do you truly know the LORD Jesus as your personal Saviour? Do you have the faith that can be tested ….do you have the faith that when tested will magnify who GOD is to others? That’s the reason….OTHERS.
I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; and yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew 5:16
Philip P. Bliss wrote the noteworthy song… It Is Well With My Soul..in time of tragic loss..
When peace, like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll..
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say..
It is well; it is well with my soul…
It is well…it is well…. With my soul…with my soul…
It is well..it is well…with my soul!