A Memory...Diagnosis

This month marks the time...two years ago, I was diagnosed with invasive Breast cancer.

At the time, I had no idea what I was going to face in this dreadful disease that afflicts so many.

INVASIVE...not a good word to hear in Cancer.

BREAST CANCER...runs in my family.

My husband and I patiently sat in the waiting room to hear further information on what my treatments would entail.

SURGERY....what kind? Consultation with surgeon to follow.

OPTIONS..thankful we have them. DECISIONS....what is best for...ME?

SUNDAY PREACHING....Three Reasons We Suffer.

1. Your own transgressions
2. Your adversary to "TEST" your FAITH.
3. Bring GLORY to GOD by showing HIS strength, power and grace..in YOU!

A look at the sufferings of Paul the Apostle.

I remember the sufferings of Missionary Hudson Taylor.

When a new born Christian...I asked my husband ...WHY??

I could not then....THEN. Comprehend the reasons, the suffering and pain the heartache..the toil.

Til...my own turn came.

Not with Breast Cancer. But a son born with Downs Syndrome and a congenital heart defect. He would not live long. Nine Months after birth...he died.

The precious "lost" soul of a nurse was saved.

I'm thankful my memory...is that of GOD's GRACE at such a time.

WHY??? GOD's Divine purposes.

My FAITH was indeed tested. The adversary worked hard as well..sifting as wheat.

God's Glory? You ask?

AT SUCH A TIME???

YES...my FAITH strengthened with comfort, hope and courage. My FAITH revealed even to myself that it was REAL and full of power, even yet unbeknownst to me. It was working in me.

Again it would work in me...through my Breast Cancer Journey.

FAITH...would I trust GOD again...with my life...with my future...with HIS purpose?

A friend wrote me a song...PEACE AT SUCH A TIME.

Yes, again it came. It was there in full assurance. COURAGE to believe and endure.

Surgery would remove a tumor...no mastectomy.

I chose to read Psalm 55: 18, 22 before bed the night before surgery.

The surgery showed invasive...

January 20th pathology report... not in my lymph nodes.

January 21st...my 55th Birthday

January 25th surgeon appointment(the day my son died years earlier)

NOTE** #5 is GRACE
20 = 5 x 4 25 = 5x5 55 = 5 x 10

I'm thankful my MEMORY is that of God's Grace shown to me at such a time.

A Diagnosis that now is a memory for me. A memory of HIS GRACE.

Through one trial and test of faith...death came.

Through another...life was spared.

GOD's work and will performs HIS good purpose. Romans 8:28

We must believe it and trust HIM...

He will give you GRACE in time of need.

He will give you STRENGTH, COURAGE and HOPE.

Have no Fear. Jesus in near.

LIFE...will you fear and not let GOD show you HIS care...HIS work and HIS promises???

This life is a testing ground...of how you will live it. How you will affect others. And...what will you do with Jesus?

Hymn What Will You Do With Jesus?
Albert B. Simpson 1843-1919

Jesus, I give thee my heart to-day!
Jesus I'll follow Thee all the way.
Gladly obeying Thee! "will you say,
This will I do with Jesus!

What will you do with Jesus? Neutral you can not be;
Some day your heart will be asking, "What will He do with me?"

Take the LORD JESUS a your Saviour today..not at this "season" but for all eternity!!!

I pray this post is an encouragement to believe and trust and REJOICE.

Memories can be full of GRACE.

HOPE

...CLOSER TO HOME....

Because Stephen was doing well with minimal oxygen he was moved back to the hospital where he was born...closer to home.

Kathyrn was at this hospital also and she assured me that she would visit him as often as she was able. It was still difficult for me to make frequent visits since we owned only one vehicle and the other children needed care. What a comfort her presence there meant to me...God brought this young woman also into MY life.

Over the next few months Kathyrn grew to truly love my son as she visited and held him in her own arms. A special bond was forming in not only our friendship but in the witness of the LORD all around her. She watched us with the other children surrounding his crib and enjoying our time as a Christian family.

Now two months old, I did not know that the doctors had sent him back to this hospital expecting him to die at any time.

A Social Worker had been assigned to us and when I met her...a pleasant American woman; I wondered what dealings we would have with her? She and I went to the cafeteria to chat over coffee. Small talk at first.Do I like the hospital and the care Stephen is receiving? Is there anything I need help in understanding? ...then came the words that she sincerely wanted to use to console me...

"You know, Stephen is a very special child"
(speaking in reference to his Down's Syndrome)

"Oh yes, he is very special...because he has never known sin."

"It is so wonderful to know the innocence of a child."

and once again...I was able to share MY TESTIMONY! What joy filled my heart. This moment I knew was of God. He had put this woman in my presence so that I might once again have this blessed opportunity...to share the Gospel...exactly why my husband and I came to Switzerland!

Philippians 2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

In the midst of this trial...blessings flooded my heart. Assurance that GOD was using us, using this time in our life for His Glory. To manifest who He is! The God of true salvation.

...the visits begin...part 2

During our friend's stay with us; the Lord blessed us in so many ways with a "taste" of HOME: talking about our friends, hugs and just that good feeling of belonging.(I say blessed of the Lord, because in all the blessings we have been given during this trial they were all possible because of Him). We all enjoyed getting to know "little Charlie". Our son was named after a very dear friend of ours.

We also gave her a mini tour of Switzerland. What FUN! Yes, we actually had the pleasure of laughter once again. We ate Fondue and drove around some of the countryside and took many "talking" walks together. It was a peaceful time of reflection of the many ways we had been blessed. There was so much to share with her of God's great care for us.

Before she returned to the States, we took her to visit little Stephen in the ICU. She would have to view him from a large picture window, while we held him. I can still see her sweet face smiling in the window, but through tears. It was such an emotional time for all of us. I can imagine the thoughts and prayers on her own heart at that time. Knowing even the difficulty it would be for her to leave us.

Our visits to the hospital were limited by the distance, my husband's job and one vehicle. And after each visit we questioned?

How long the visits would continue? Would Stephen come home soon? What steps do we take to prepare ourselves?

I sent for information from the Down's Syndrome Foundation and when I received the package of booklets I was so overwhelmed. There was so much material to read, but in doing so, I was happy to find stories of Down's children that survived and did well in life. I wasn't a stranger to my son's condition having worked with Down's children at a special school during my High School years. I grew very attached then, to a boy named Joey.

Times like this cause us to realize how thankful we should be. Even in the situation of life I found myself to be in; I was so grateful to know the LORD. He had proven himself to me over and over...that his promises are sure. His promises of strength and comfort. I knew that no matter what befell me, I had the comfort of the scriptures...giving me Hope.

Lamentations 3:24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

..at this present time: I have had the pleasure of knowing a young lady with Down's at one of our local stores. She is a worker there and always bubbling over with joy and smiles. Down's children are known as the "sunshine kids". No wonder. She though an adult, is just this. She is very intelligent and quite the proud boaster of her accomplishments as well. I was so happy for her when she showed me her engagement ring and planned to marry soon!

to everything there is a season...part 2

April 1982 ... the twins are born .... two sweet boys.

What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. Psalms 56:3

I awoke in the night..actually 2 a.m. and used the call button (it must have been in French..the nurse showed up!) and I tried in vain to tell her I was having STRONG contractions. She elevated the foot of my bed and LEFT the room!! My heart was racing as I thought about what to do to get her back! She then walked in the room with a dictionary! I quickly thumbed the pages looking for the word PAIN!! and when I did show her the word, she immediately started moving me and getting my bed into the delivery room. I'm sure the look on my face along with the dictionary word...gave her a good indication that it was TIME!

NO English nurse on duty this night!

I had no time to think about my surroundings..though now I can recall them very vividly. The room was nothing like the hospitals now or perhaps this is just in America; where there is a nice wallpapered room with lovely wooden furniture and then, this, labour room also becomes the delivery room. Nice and homey. In the Swiss hospital delivery room, it was very bright and cold...with only two nurses on duty. They seemed to be in a panic...moving so quickly that the bed that they were trying to place me on started moving away! I remember making a quick leap to the next bed! This is just the beginning! As labour continued one of the nurses delivered the first twin on a moments notice...then asked me his name and left the room...then all my labour stopped. The next baby was having problems so a doctor was called in and I was put under anesthesia and awoke to another son whom also was quickly whisked away. I was then taken to my room and slept.

Because of the hour of the night and the quick delivery..less than an hour. My husband was not contacted until hours later in the morning. He also did not have time to reschedule his work ,so he had to still go in and find a replacement. During this time of waiting for him to come to the hospital..I still was not given the babies. I was not told anything. I began to wonder WHY? and who would explain anything that I could understand? ..until the British nurse came on duty.

When Kathryn finally came in...she was smiling and happy that I had a safe delivery and doing well. She then proceded to tell me that they suspected the boys having heart murmurs and checking them over. A doctor would speak with us in a couple of hours and to call my husband. I was calm and knew in my heart that the LORD was with us. Already so many prayers had been answered..so much provision. I thought upon the above verse found in Psalms and I would trust the LORD even in my fears.

When my husband arrived we waited for the appointed time the doctor was to speak with us. While waiting we once again had the opportunity to speak with Kathryn concerning our faith and trusting in the LORD. She listened intently.

Upon arrival of the doctor. One whom we had never spoke with before. He was the head physician of the hospital. A quite stern looking elderly man. He began to explain to us that one of our son's was born with Down's Syndrome and were we familiar with it?

Yes, to some degree. I actually had worked with Down's children while in High School. I earned extra credit by going to a special needs school a few hours each week.

He then told us, knowing our situation in a foreign country, that it would be best to just instutionalize him. WHAT??? I could not believe what I was hearing. My motherly heart immediatley took over before anyone else could utter a word. I had a framed photo of my other children on my bed table and showing him my PRECIOUS children I did calmly say.."SIR, we are CHRISTIANS and whatever GOD has given us, HE will be our help.. this is our family and this baby will also be a part of our family. We will do whatever is necessary for our baby." I was so offended...so hurt, his words cut to my heart and he knew it. He left the room dumbfounded.

Kathryn later would reveal to me the scenario of the doctor coming out of our room after his meeting with us. She told us, he came out with a look on his face she could not describe. He then told her.."this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and he could not believe the reaction we had to his news about our son. He had never experienced the calm and peace of this couple." Kathryn immediately responded with..." well of course, Sir...they are Christians!"

This moment was a pivotal point in our witness with Kathryn. A day also that would begin the beacon of hope that would continue to shine in her path and reveal true faith.

Encouragement

I've started this blog on the recommendation of several friends. I'd like to thank them for this encouragement. Knowing that they feel I have something to offer others, is a blessing beyond measure. As my desire is also to be...An Encourager. There are many aspects of life that need encouraging...whether it be an ability or desire or faith. We all need it.

For this purpose, I want to share with you some things in my life and maybe some mention of others that will indeed encourage you in some area of your life, by you drawing from this well...of HOPE. I wish above all for you to know the LORD Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour and the peace he can give to your heart.

The greatest moment of my life, was when I found that the BIBLE was true and the very words of GOD given so that I would know him, so that I would know what life was all about. I was very confused about life in general. I did not know enough about God to even know where to find him..let alone that there existed a book HE left for man. In his faithfulness he revealed himself not only by creation itself..but by giving us words from his very heart.
The Bible is a precious book filled with HOPE. Hope is something as the Bible says..not seen (Hebrews 11:1). It is the very essence of Faith. It is trusting GOD for who he says he is and what he is able and will perform.

One day I found that the Scriptures revealed my heart also. It revealed to me, my great need of a Saviour, found in the Lord Jesus Christ. I was guilty before God and had done nothing about my sins. I trusted him according to his word, that by faith in his shed blood I would be cleansed and made a new creature in him. What joy I found and the new journey began that day...new as in born again..walking new, talking new and finding HOPE along the way.